HEALING IS NOT LINEAR

healing

is 

not

linear.


this past week was hard.

i fell short.

a lot.


Mayo was absolutely amazing.

Eye opening.

Grounding.

It is the best thing I have ever done for myself. But, it opened up my world to more illness, more issues, more complications. 

Things I have been working through.

Issues that would mean a never ending cycle of medical procedures and lifelong complications and side effects.

I just couldn't do that anymore. 

I was done.

I don't want to spend my life at the doctor.

I chose the holistic route. 

A path not common in our neck of the woods.

One that is hard for those around me to understand.


I will dive deeper into this topic soon...where my health has been the last six months, whats to come, etc.

But, as it stands right now...I have an awesome group of doctors who are letting me heal holistically and of course guiding me along the way for one year. In one year (October), we will reevaluate the situation and proceed from there. 


Currently, I'm on a liver detox program. 

You know, trying to cleanse all those meds out of my liver, say see ya fuckers to all the viral cells invading my space.

I thought this was going to be a breeze, baby.

I mean, after all...I DRASTICALLY changed my diet on September 27th which has me feeling so good. 

Nothing could knock me down.

Lies.

Big lies.

Man, was I full of myself.

The first week was GREAT! 

I had so much energy and my aches and pains were pretty non-existent.

Then week two set in. 

Holy balls, batman.

Nausea.

Lots of Nausea.

Then week three.

Bloating, fatigue. So much fatigue. 

Swollen and puffy. 

That's where I stand now. 

It's hard to finish my workouts.

I'm being plagued by random sweats.

I'm just so uncomfortable.

Energy levels are low.

& that's why I'm having a tough time.


I want it to be done. 

Over.

But, that's not how chronic illness works. 

You have to put in the work in order to see results.

& while I am, it's frustrating that it isn't happening faster.


Then I remember. 

I'm out of bed everyday.

I'm off almost all of my meds.

I cross off things on my to-do list.

I cook and eat my meals successfully.

There are so many good things, so many improvements. 

I just seem to keep concentrating on the things that aren't happening fast enough.

I'm being really flipping hard on myself.

& that is of no benefit to my healing.

I'm trying to remind myself of how long it took me to get "that" sick (it all started at age 14).

It's going to take time to get better.


If you have somebody in your life going through a healing process...

whether it's physically, mentally, emotionally, whatever type of healing it is...

Tell them you see their efforts.

Let them know you support them.

Remind them how far they've come.

Show interest in what they are doing.

Ask why they may be doing something you don't understand.

Join them in one of their new rituals.

Be there for them.

Love them.

Encourage them.


I hope this post finds you well and in good health and spirits.

Make some time for yourself this week. (A manicure, get your hair done, read a book, take a bath, cook your favorite meal, etc.)

Just do something for you and remind yourself you are worthy of it.


Love you all,

Kirsten

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