There are some people who come into your life and leave an imprint.
A big one.
& you hope they stay forever.
her name is paige
& while her and my brother are not married (or engaged), I will be referring to her as my sister in this post.
Big feelings girl here.
Big feelings girl.
& for some reason, Paige is the one person in my life who I feel like I can totally fall apart in front of and she would just wrap me in the biggest hug and hold all my pieces in place while I work on putting them back together.
(FYI : best hugger in the entire world. If you haven't had one of hers, I highly recommend you get yourself one!)
I grew up wanting so many siblings. Like hundreds.
But my parents struggled for years before having my brother, Alan.
& then that was it.
No sister.
Just the two of us.
Having a sister was definitely something I longed for.
& then it happened.
My brother got himself a woman.
& I don't know what it was but it felt like fireworks.
It felt like we had known each other for decades.
It felt like she was the bandaid to all of the hard stuff.
It felt like she was never not a part of my life.
& then I realized.
The universe didn't give me a sister because all along it had the perfect one waiting to come into my life at the perfect time.
She is the perfect fit for our family.
It feels so strange when she isn't around.
She has become a part of us.
Like, literally overnight.
It wasn't drawn out interactions lasting for months.
It was there from the first day.
I know this may seem weird.
Me talking about my brothers girlfriend like she's my soulmate.
But, like...she is.
In my eyes, we are gifted many as we move through life.
There isn't one person who can meet all of our needs.
We need multiple people in our corner.
But somehow Paige understand my needs like nobody else in my family does.
She shows me love in so many ways.
The random phone calls are one of my favorites.
But its' the special pieces she sends in the mail like this that make me cry blubbery tears.
A closer look for ya.
Seriously every time I look at it I well up.
So much so that I had to move it from my desk to my nightstand because seeing it multiple times a day made my heart swim.
She knows how important this little beach is to Keith and I.
Then she sketched it.
Put it in a frame.
& mailed it to us.
With a beautiful note inside.
She just gets my love language.
To know that somebody cares about me enough to do something like this for me is humbling.
& I hope I do the same for her.
I have to share a story about Paige because I think it's super important.
As you may know, I was sick for many years.
In all those years, and all the years after, not a single person asked about my mental health (not my mom, my dad, my husband - not a soul).
How I handled it, what I was thinking, how I deal with it now.
But Paige did.
In the ocean in Mexico one night about 4 years ago while floating with the waves she says to me, "How was your mental health through all of that? What were you thinking and feeling?"
& if my boobs were not so big an buoyant, I probably would have sunk to the ocean floor.
All of the things that I had kept inside finally had a place to go.
An escape.
Somebody cared enough to ask.
I know I've thanked you in person for this, Paige.
But again, thanks. You will never know what a release that was for me.
You make everything easier.
BTW
This is Paige. & me.
I hope you all find a Paige in your lifetime.
Somebody you can fully be yourself with.
& if you have somebody in your life who means the world to you, take this as your sign to ask the hard questions.
To show them how much you care.
Don't be afraid to throw your love into people.
We all need it way more than we are willing to admit.
Love you Paigey. 🌸💕
xoxo
Kirsten